HUMOR

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• See also Finks_experiments
• and Rejected_Heavy_Hitters
• and Many Humorous Splicers
• and Excelsior
• and Art_Deco_Era_Slang
• and Strange_Splicer_Visions
• and Humorous_Corrected_InfiniteBS_Timeline
• and WillTheRealElizabethPleaseStandUp
• and Giant_Parakeet_in_a_Gimp_Suit
• and Little_Pony_Haven_Safehouse
• and Scenes_You_Wanted_To_See

add Twisted Humor in long page splitup

See also : Finks Experiments

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That 'Merge' Tears Thing - They didn't mention the 'Rectal' Bleeding (not quite as obvious in-game)

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*Warning* - NSFF - 'NOT SAFE FOR FANBOIS'

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Monty Python-esque Visit to Rapture :

• The "Killer" Barnacle

• Search for the Holy Tram ( and Father Wales' portable goodie stash )

• Knights of the Fishbowl Diner ( Paupers Drop isn't what it used to be ... )

• Holy Handgrenade of Anchovy (You must count to five (three) ...)

• "HE must be Andrew Ryan, because he doesn't have Shit all over him" ...

• Sofia Lamb and the Giant Badger ( Eleanor made her escape much earlier ... )

• Sofia Lambs 'Comfy Operating Table' ( inherited from Suchong ... Nice Red Blood!!! )

• "Bring out your Dead !!!" ( 'But he's not quite dead  : !!' )

• The Bridge of Eternal Bunny ( Sander Cohen's strange departure into Engineering/Architecture)

• "We are the Splicers who say 'No'" ( Most of Rapture's answer to Sofia Lamb and her cockamamie Philosophy ).

• Guys wearing handkerchiefs on their heads - things drip in Rapture ...

• Giant foot crushing a Big Daddy ( with appropriate fake fart sound effect ).

• Little Sisters with funny British Accents

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Alot of Columbia looked like "IF 'Guyana' Jim Jones had run Coney Island"

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Comstock had had yet another Previous Profession ...

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For a While the SaturNINE  were the SaturTEN....

But one moved to Columbia.

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WTF did Infinite BS have to do with BioShock ????

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Things We might like to see in Rapture :

• Splicers singing in a 'Barbershop Quartet' - Doing what they THINK is harmonizing.

• Trained SeaSlugs humming tunes ...  Some Splicers had 'way too much free time' ...

• Stand Up Comic routines - with a reason to repeat most times you see them ( and Hecklers who turn into a lynch mob ).

And in Dreamscape Columbia :

• Booker getting hit in the face with the shit Elizabeth throws him -- "Hey Booker, Axe, Catch !!!"

• Whole lotta Columbia inhabitants who talk in nothing but Star Trek cliche phrases.

Dim ideas for the gamez, but amusing vignettes.

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'Chess sets in Rapture have "No Kings", So how does that Work ?'  - George Carlin

For some reason in BaSx there was a ticket to CATS! in Jack's wallet. It must've been one of those multi-dimensional Crossover things that seem to happen alot when Quantumz are involved.

Hearing Jack ( voiced Player avatar like Booker ) talk like a four year old child at Sander Cohen (or anyone else) would have been funny. " I NEED GO POOPIE !!!"

"So ignominious to be killed by a crack on the head with a toilet tank float ... I wont GO that way !!!! " - Sander Cohen

Creepy Boss : "Saute'd Barnacles with Fava beans and a nice Chianti"

An alternate (MMORPG-offered) Game-Mode would be (the infamous) 'Candyland' Mode

BD Training # 174 : Taking your Little Sister to the 'Little Gatherer's Room' ...

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If Johnny Topside returned to Rapture today, Would he now come on Delta Airlines ??

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"Songbird" Really Doesn't Sound Imposing Enough as a Name For Some City 'Protector' :

"He'll Peck Your Eyes Out and Infest You With His Verminous Ticks !!!!" - That doesn't really sound that good for a 'saying' told about him in Columbia.

"Endeavor" the Eagle was Columbia's mascot for the exposition. Sinister Things then took place ...

Giant Pigeons... imagine the mess and the (many more) cleanup crews this city would have to employ ...

Songbird looks like Giant Pigeon in a Gimp Suit. A not quite a Batmanesque conceptual thingamabob ? (( "Well It Was The Best Ken&Co Could Do" ... Obviously an attempt to remake a Big Daddy type iconic thingee -- one that might be made cheaply in China as game merchandise )) But remember : gamewise it is pretty much relegated to cutscenes ( you actually were challenged when DEALING WITH Rapture's Big Daddies ).

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The Great Demitasse Kurfuffle  :

Between BS1 and BS2, Speculation ran wild when the peanut gallery at the Irrational Forum saw a Sign (window viewed) on various buildings in the BS2 Demo previews, which said "Demitasse". Some Forum denizens assumed/speculated/insisted it was to be the next big 'Fontaine-like Boss' character villain. All when it was actually just an out-in-the-water advertising sign for some Tea Shop ( A "Demitasse" is a small cup that Turkish Coffee or Espresso is served in ).

Theories were flung, Violent Arguments abounded and 'bannings' were legion ( or not - like Shrodingers Cat ... )

Anyway, was it quite amusing that so much palaver was spent on so much nothing.

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Music from the Nether Regions :

Splicers playing 'Rock' music - truly alien to the people of Rapture -- more sign of the degeneracy and insanity caused by the ADAM disease ... Someone in the City Intelligence Unit suggested its use for psychological warfare to drive Splicers from a target area so that it might be secured using conventional methods. ( There were worries that smart Splicers might easily turn the same tactic around and use it on Citizens ).

New Rapture's spies have brought back images from 'The Surface' showing sufficient current weirdness to convince most newly sane people that 'the End of the World' is already starting up there.

"Rock" music to a Splicer may include banging rocks against their heads ( which actually might be less painful than listening to some of the stuff that passes for 'Music' up on The Surface ).

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Plasmid that made Hotdogs shoot out of an arm did not seen to be all that useful ( and it is a bit gross ).

But Later ...

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Sander Cohen's Banjo Concerto :

Now THAT'S scary !!!

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'Columbia Knitting Circle' Image of "Their' god ... ( Sorry Ken, what you show is NOT "Christianity" in any way, NO matter what 'Point' you think you are trying to make. ). The game could not be much more peculiar than this Cthulhu thing ( and THIS would have actually made far more sense ). Cute to see the little Founder children holding these as they run for their lives from Booker's mayhem ...

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Sounds from the Lighthouse :

"If they're so smart, let 'em come up with a Plasmid for cleaning seagull crap offa stonework ..."

"You would think that a 200 foot Lighthouse would not be conducive to secrecy."

"Hey look, some guy named Jack carved his initials into this banister"

"Gettin to go up to The Surface ain't all its cracked up to be, I'm freezing my ass off ..."

"No, no, no.  FIRST you close the door and THEN you hit the descend button ..."

"I just found a message in a bottle ... who is Ringo ??? "

"Hey Skipper, look A Lighthouse !!  Lets go tell the Professor, maybe he can figure out where the fuck we are ..."

Prophet Elijah - "Oops, wrong Rapture ..."

"You think anyone will want these Ryan statues any more ?"

"Who the hell keeps leavin' Pepbar wrappers and empty beer bottles up here ???"

"Hey Mr Bubbles, that 'sphere ride was fun !   Aaaaah, that bright thing is hurting my eyes, Kill It !!,  Kill It !!!!"

"Huh??  Hey!  Where did all those other Lighthouses come from?!!!  Phewww, really gotta stop drinkin that  Absinthe stuff ..."

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OOPS, Jack got his Longitude Wrong... ( Don't blame him, he is only 4 years old ).

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Splicing up Cats is not a good idea. And I don't think inserting Cat DNA into Humans would be a good idea either, no matter how fast their physiological reflexes might make a Human's.

Subplots for Infinite BS more interesting than that original game. (Finnegan's Island ???)

"Today the Pneumo, Tomorrow Rapture!!" ( Splicing Cats was a bad idea. )

There are many strange things on the internet. ( Guesthost while Limecat is on vacation ... )

There were other alternative to a Giant Pigeon for an 'iconic' nemesis in Columbia ....

Infinite universes. With one where Tears start opening up, its a safe bet that eventually VERY bad things start happening.

The cliche chase picture by whatever the fricken hell that thing is. Run Elizabeth, Run !!!

Poseidon Brewery's giveaway mug ... ( lotsa artsy people out there the MMORPG can tap into )

So they regurgitated the 'conditioning' idea from BioShock (Little Sister/Big Daddy relationship), passed it through the gut of Infinite BS fantasy and excreted it back into the BaS DLC. The whole overdone 'imprinting' project of Fink's for this Whaterverthehellitwas Songbird idea (it was some kind of game attempt for iconic Big Daddy -- which degenerated into only a cutscene icon, and very little more gameplay-wise). ( Sad and Funny at the same time ).

"We'll be visiting a place where the storyteller's logic fell down, a place built seemingly impossible not to Fail. Unfortunately it is not only a place you visit ... in ... The Twilight Zone."

Early Protector with bonding designed around Discipline and Threat

The moon Rapture would have been a simpler environment to build on ( and with alot underground and less pressure differential - like by a factor of 20 ), except for the transportation issue ( all that stuff launched to Earth orbit, and then a quarter of a million miles to travel ).

In an Alternate Dimension, Booker had been a bowler instead of a killer and Columbia (being his dreamscape) could have been built as a giant bowling alley/pinball machine !!!

Many strange amusing ideas - something amusing found in Sander Cohen's stuff (or a Splicer dream) - though the 'pony' stuff would have to be changed to Rabbits or somesuch because of the copyright issues for the MMORPG.

Characters should be bigger than life. ( How many strange things can you spot in this picture ?? )

Some ideas for Splicers were just plain wrong... ( but in the MMORPG you can have LOTS of 'out-of-band' content' NOT seen in previous games. )

Sad kinda "funny" - With the whole 'Tear' thing SHOWING stuff from the future, instead of Zeppelin stupidity we coulda had neat stuff like This

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Fink never figured out how to recycle ADAM from bodies, but there WAS another way... ( Note - this might explain why Sinclair obtained the contract for Rapture's sewage collection and disposal. )

Suchong said to get the sample. This was the only sample that Elizabeth could find... ( "poo-poo" jokes will be fair game in the MMORPG )

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Shrodingers OTHER experiment ...

DO these people look like they are 'on something' ? It has been noted that they are each looking off into a different point in space.

Actually quite a pair of bungling meddlers ...

I don't know about you, but I think this is one of the most hilariously stupid things in the game. "Crazy Hood Ornament" was my first thought on seeing it.

If we wanted to do Crossovers properly ...

Fan Artists can do really good art creations ( something the MMORPG would count on )

So that's what happened to Thomas after Columbia attacked the Isle of Sodor

Master Po was very wise ...

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All those time and interdimensional disturbances brought this investigating - alternate universes can be a bad place for meddlers as Fink would find out.

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Comstock had worse worries than "The False Shepherd"

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That interdimensional Quantumz stuff can get weird ...

Very Weird ...

Hint for the unobservant - what is Hitler drawing ?

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Things got stranger and stranger... (Red Dwarf ref ...)

Brigid needed something as a substitute to handle the severe withdrawal symptoms for the physical and psychological dependence the Little Sisters had had with ADAM. What could she possibly use for that ?

One of Fontaine's less mentioned Experiments.

( Wait. One more and they could've had a Quarry Singing Quartet )

I guess Atlas had the last "Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk" ...

'Computers - mysterious and frightening ...

Game might be a bit different in this case ... "Sonny, can you help me up this curb ... " "I once had a Tweety bird, but it died long ago"

'Lincoln the Dimensional God went to Columbia

'Creep

Idea (never finalized) after the failure of the Robotic Little Sisters to bond with the Big Daddies. A Solution was to make the Little Sisters less vulnerable to ADAM-hungry Splicers.

If James Bond could be hooked and picked up off a raft in the Pacific (Dr No, 1959) then something like that MIGHT have gotten Booker to Columbia -- instead of that ridiculous techo-fantasy lighthouse rocket BS.

'Delta's Big Comeback Tour

' More Cat Humor

Tenenbaum the Chainsmoker ( ADAM therapy for Lung Cancer ?? ) ( You'd think they could at least have substituted the head Asset?? )

'Crossover plots abounded

'Cats cant pronounce their 'L's

'Sofia Lamb really wasn't very nice

'More ADAM-powered Cat

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SanderCohenArt << Lots of creepy amusing weird stuff here

Funniest (stupidity) of all is that the whole 'multiverse' thing would have been SO EASY to use to explain all the hackish writing weirdness ( careless Canon retro changes ) we saw in the Infinite BS DLC.

Monty Python first aired this very skit at the time of the events of the rebirth of Rapture.

Big Daddies had lives too ... ( In post-Ryan Rapture you don't play for money any more ... )

" I'll Raise You Three Ryan 123 Beers ..."

Weird things are seen through "Tears".

How many multiverses were DESTROYED because of the Luteces' meddling ( not really that humorous ) ??

Imagination of the Users ( far beyond the game companies few people ) is what is needed in the future of games.

What exactly happened to all these 'Tears' when Comstock (allegedly) ceased to exist and the Tear stuff never happened?? Suchong never could have spied on Fink to build his own 'Tear' machine (as ludicrous as that actually is -- You know I just saw an Apple computer in a store last week and have built my own... Hack writers can be so pathetic sometimes).

In the MMORPG it really WAS just a bad dream Suchong had after eating some bad clams and having strained McDonagh's plumbing quite a bit ("Who Clean Toilet Now... Not Suchong. Suchong Scientist!!!").

Ryan learned of the intrusion by Fink (in Suchong's report) through the interdimensional 'Tears'. Ryan launched a program to nullify and destroy the Threat. Specially equipped Big Daddies were sent through the Tears with orders to obliterate everything there. Columbia's with its meager technologies didn't have a chance.

(So ended a multitude of 'Columbias' across the Interdimensional Continuum - without even that really dim "Let Elizabeth kill you, Daisy..." moment happening).

A Big Daddy's nightmare ...

Someone's '3D' Printing combining two models. Wait til they invent kineto-plastics for these things.

Amusing things are found on the Interwebz. But But But it was Columbia which runs on Unicorn Tears...

Ryan would try to dissuade Citizens from ADAM use that led to Insanity.

( or maybe a propgandistic hint at what the nuclear shit had done (or might be doing) to the Surface world )

Bin Diving and Shooting, Rinse, Repeat ... Funny, but in a VERY sad way.

General lack of imagination and just regurgitating the patterns from the previous games (but not done as well).

If 'Piltdown Man' was real, HE would have been sad about how Infinite BS turned out.

Arthur Conan Doyle simply said 'Logic has nothing to do with it, and it shows."

Fink destroyed his workers souls by showing them his vacation slides...

Imagine this circling a Vox riot and unloading on them with its six Gatling guns and dropping a squad of "Firemen".

Seriously with the army of para-military Police we saw, Columbia should have been a locked-down Police State where the Vox would have been exterminated as soon as they "crawled out of the woodwork".

(Lame-assed game writers often haven't a clue, eh ?)

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Harlem Globetrotters Visit Rapture :

Seriously ?? Well they did visit Gilligan's Island after all ...

Meadow Lark was fried by a Splicer, but it didn't even break their stride ...

The Senators lost as usual ( fortunately with minor casualties ).

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Too Cute to Live - Little Sisters So Cute They Would Make Barney The Purple Dinosaur(tm) Vomit :

Expand on that Little Sister theme - for Players' amusement  ( not lame fanfic --> amazing '3D' presentations )

How trained  - the cattle prods never mentioned, for some reason

Extracting ADAM - you REALLY don't want to know how.

Those Air Vent Tubes - skinned knees a major complaint - regeneration doesn't mean its not painful.

"Look MR Bubbles, that Angel looks like raspberry jammies."

Rumor - Fontaine's Lil Sisters Orphanages got so crowded they had to start hanging em up on hooks in closets, place started looking like a meat packing plant.

Actually there were alot more Little Sisters than available Big Daddies, and many also did not condition well for the "Corpse ADAM Rrecovery Process" (CARP), so they were 'stored' in secure locations and used to generate ADAM  ( Likely also there often were not enough Corpses for the 'conditioned' Little Sisters to utilize. )

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Little Sisters Anonymous for Recovering Big Daddies ???

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Real Mindwarp - Elizabeth (One of them) is Actually a Machine !!! :

Fink killed 'Anna' by mistake and hurriedly sought a Tear to steal an advanced technological version -- maybe from Gil Alexander using Suchong's patented 'Jack Growing Process' ( the procedure was probably fully detailed on a chalkboard somewhere ... ) - so Elizabeth and Jack are actually siblings !!!   Weird would be a version of Elizabeth that looked like the Automatic Gentleman (not fooling anyone... Book-er He-ere Ca-tch *whirrrr* )

Twist ?  Levine wouldn't know a proper Twist if IT beat him over the head while singing the Flower Duet from Lakmé.

The usual 'reveal' scene where Elizabeth is finally caught in a blast (or somesuch) and is ripped open revealing her machine innards (cliche)... "OMG, Im a Machine!!!" ... Booker *pulls off faceplate* "AREN'T WE ALL ???"   ( Fade to black ...... )

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Ever Notice how easy it actually is to think of a better story/plot than Infinite BS had ???

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And Now for a Public Announcement Message About "Tears" ..

Scene : *Tear appears on wall at Silver Fin Restaurant* ( More than a while before Fontaine's Death ... )

Betty:  "Huuuuh ?!?!?"

Garry: "Betty, we live in Rapture: a place of perpetual scientific breakthrough and wonder.  You need to get used to seeing a few strange sights from time to time."

Betty: "But why is there that green glowing fluid now flowing out of it, that is now burning its way thru the floor.  And WHAT THE HELL IS THAT !!! .... Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!" 

Announcer: "So next time you see a hulking Big Daddy and ghoul-like Little Sister wandering about, just think to yourself 'Thats not REALLY so Strange'...."

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Fantasy ??? I Andrew Ryan Reject This !!!   Is not the Player due a proper Sci-Fi game paid for by the $60 Sweat of their Brow ???   The Game Companies say " NOOOOOOOOO! The players will eat whatever rubbish we set before them !! "

"SO I left the Parasites and created  "BioShock: Rapture Reborn" , a MMORPG place where the Player will FEEL he is in a real World Under the Sea, and the Players IMAGINATION will 'Pull The Great Chain !!!' ..... "

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Mirror Mirror ....

While you are being led around doing Sander Cohen's Bidding in Fort Frolic, There is a Quick Flash (or several) back to Sander Cohen's Dressing Room, and in a mirror reflection he is made up like : 1) A killer Clown, 2) The Witch from Wizard of Oz, 3) James Dean in 'Rebel Without a Cause'(biker), 4 ) A Little Sister, (etc...)

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Rapture's ONLY OTHER Law :

Ryan had a Death Penalty for all Clowns.  Rooted no doubt in a traumatic incident in his childhood, being confronted horrifically by a sinister Clown.   So you will find no 'Clown' Splicers in Rapture.  There are heavy fines and possibly Jail Time for making Balloon Animals ...

Of course, once Ryan is 'dead',  the Player Creators might have a field day with this.

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In-game Joke : You Receive a 'Box' which when Opened has a Cat in it Doing Strange Things (Not Dead)

• Miniature Mt Rushmore with cat faces on it

• A cat dancing a ballet (in a tutu)

• Recreation of the 'golf club' scene from BS1 ( with cats playing the parts )

• Cat just sits there, staring at you as most of them do, most of the time.

• A Cat with a box that it opens to reveal a dead human killed by a poison device triggered by a quantum state ( Cats too can do 'Thought Experiments' .... )

• A Cat with a little computer playing an exciting MMORPG game about people who spend all their time online commenting about a computer game ...

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'This would have put the 'fear' into your opponents ...

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Sciencey Game Terminology ( It is All Subject To Writer's Misuse ) :

Infinite BS abuse of Quantumz - SO, You might as well misuse the rest of the related terminology ...

Wave Function ( "I'm just not a 'particle' kind of girl" )

Bose Condensate ( "CONDENSATE this Sucka !!!" )

"Spin" ( "Oh Booker, You'd think your SPIN was abnormal !!!" )

Tears Quantum "Tunnel" to Excitement and Adventure ...

"Excitation State" - for the 'shield thingee', where higher means more energy to deflect, or Booker just found Lady Comstock 'hot'...

"Orbital Quanta" - your power level - electrons jump to higher 'energy states' as an atom absorbs energy ( Note- This has nothing to do with "Trans-Orbital Lobotomy" ... )

"Probabilistic" - likelihood you are NOT where that bullet is ...

"Entangled" - "What you mean ENTANGLED, Willis ??" ( Oops, this was previously (BS2) implied )

Of course all this kind of stuff means that Booker has 'Quantum Particles' in his magic pants, and Wears portable Tears as part of his kit ...

There is always "A Particle, A Constraint, and Entanglement" ( City, Man, Lighthouse are ALWAYS optional in the bigger scheme of things ).

So if Booker with Lizzy goes through a Tear into a universe where his "Belt of Discount From Stamp Machines" doesn't exist (never was invented), THEN the one he is wearing 'goes weird' (Dimensional Discordance ...) and his pants suddenly fall down ??? Or do they suddenly become a Black Hole that starts crushing him ( The real screaming begins ... That reminds me : Elizabeth at the end of Infinite BS at the 'Baptism Scene', could have just giving Booker a Trans-Orbital Lobotomy and solved the problem WITHOUT committing Murder ) ?

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The Wizard of Rapture :

Little Sister Dorothy along with :

The Tin Daddy

The Cowardly SpiderSplicer

Security Fly-bot #7

and Tiddles the Cat

Are "Off to see the Wizard" of Rapture

Pursued by the Wicked Witch of Persephone

Will Dorothy 'get home', or Will it all again be an odd dream caused by severe head trauma ??

Imaginative 'Dreams' ( Splicers see all kinds of weird shit in their endlessly churning minds )

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Bioshock - the Broadway Show - Reviewed :

"Twisted And Strange" -- Christian Science Monitor

"A musical for the ages" -- The Rapture Tribune

"I crapped my pants" -- Rolling Stone Magazine

"Extraordinarily Scary" -- The Wall Street Journal

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Now Entering Bizzaroland - Touch Interface, So Your Cat Can Play The MMORPG :

Yes, it is getting absurd, but with the flexibility of the system, who knows what some creative Player  might come up with.   That other player beating you to the goodies in the ruins might actually be a cat.

Well maybe its also an interface for playing while you are drunk, and fancy controls aren't desirable. Hmmm - BIOSHOCK the Drinking game - Take a shot every time Sander Cohen says 'little moth' or you hear  Sofia Lamb's condescending whiny voice...

Didn't I already mention a 'Role Playing' Scenario where you play a Cat in Rapture ????   I do recall  mentioning an experimental project using cats as pilots for Flybots, which failed ...

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Cat-ure :

An odd (in Rapture?) reported story of some cats who 'got into some Brain Boost', apparently learned how to operating one of the fishing subs, and have their little colony of 'intelligent' felines over in some remote corner/section of Rapture, cut off from all the crazy "two-legs".

Amazing the 'tails' that come out of some ADAM-addled brains (if you wish to find that place, first consider the rumor comes from '[[[Splicers]]').

Brain Boosted Cats - It is what REALLY caused The Fall of Rapture :

Ryan's Catnip Control system wasn't finished in time.

Mr Bigglesworth now runs Rapture

No Hairballs

No Humans

No Ceiling Cat

Only We Pussycats

A Feline Society seeking to be free from being dragged down by 'Dogs' and Cat-Haters.

"Who Is FELIX ?"

Trans-Dimensional Tear having appeared in Andrew Lloyd Webber's garden shed ....

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Potential ... :

Bets on some Players using the MMORPG Creation Tools to make a  'My Little Pony'  version of Rapture and/or Columbia  ( and then others remaking that into a truly gratuitous bloodbath ).   A certainty.

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Humor - Do We Really Want "Raptors" Wandering Around "Rapture" ? :

I Know it sounds similar, but seriously, one good shotgun blast with buckshot is all it would take to put down each of the 'oh so smart' big Raptors seen in Jurassic Park ( ignoring the fact that the actual REAL VelociRaptors were little larger than chicken's ) and even those bigger dinosaur they substituted for them in the movie still had a brain the size of a chicken's ..  ( BTW,  those types of dinosaurs lived in the  "Cretaceous Period" ---> NOT the "Jurassic" - possibly plausible to have the park named that way following advice of Marketing Experts )

I'm sure we can have some Splicer Nightmares about such things ( good meat for a [[Mini_Games|mini-game ), but I don't think that type of dinosaur was even discovered yet (by Rapture's time).  Lions and Tigers and Bears ? ( That Rapture Zoo we kept hearing about ??  Some nice potential there ... )

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A Big Daddy Walks into a Bar .... :

Punchline - "because it did not give ADAM" (a damn)  *RIMSHOT*

No doubt simulated comedy acts would become a Player favorite ( ... Now how to get the NPCs to stop heckling the bad acts ... )   That one only works as a verbal(heard) joke anyway ...

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Nostradamus Quatrain Mentioning Rapture ? :

Hunc exhortare et robora iacere sub Deo,

Nimis exaltatus es in deliciis tuis.

Amisso beati fontali.

Numquid non in brachio Fig Newton.

Beneath the Bold Gods lying,

Tremble in thy Rapture.

Bereft of the blessed Fountainhead

Dost ye arm the Fig Newton

Oops, Lost something in the translation apparently (16th century Slang issue??).

Lets try again ...

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New Zealand SPCA Teaches Rescue Dogs How to Drive a Mini :

That's a real story from the internet ( story says it probably is a hoax ).

But consider the Bathysphere problem - Anton Kincaide has to find a way to lower the costs of running the Network of Bathyspheres (and the Trolleys too) for his Metro to out-compete the Atlantic Express.

Labor is a major expense and it would be a major savings to eliminate the Bathysphere 'pilot'.  Computers/electronics at that time aren't remotely good enough to auto-control/navigate the vehicles.  This is before (pre 1952) the Bio-Electronic revolution which made things like The Thinker and the many lesser 'smart'  automation systems possible.

Along comes some brightboy/boffin (assuming ADAM was being researched that early) who tells Kincaide about what ADAM might be able to do to create a cheaper 'pilot'.   What projects might have been started along these lines?

Cats and Dogs no doubt were considered ...  "Captain Fluffy wishes to welcome you aboard.  We have reports of mild currents and little turbulence for you trip today ...  Please take your seats and we will get under way."

Eventually the Bathysphere Cable system took alot of the 'Steam' out of the Problem, requiring much less complex automatic control.

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Scene : Suchong (while stroking white mutant 6 legged cat) :  "No Miss Elizabeth, I expect you to DIE !!" 

(some of those 'subject' tables in Optimized Eugenics do look like the laser table from "Goldfinger" ...)

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• A Cat Skull She uses to scare children

• 3 lb of Snotty Tissues

• Her 'Control Key'

• The 'Psychotropic Drug' and Syringe she still uses to 'Adjust' Miscreants

• That Luger Pistol that Killed Delta

• Her miniaturize copy of Metamorphosis (never printed - too useful as toilet paper)

• Spare Nurse Ratchett Glasses

• A Donation Envelope for 'The Church of Rapture' (never used)

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Clown Splicers Were Started in Protest to Ryan's One Law of "NO CLOWNS!" :

Ryan actually said "NO SMUGGLERS". But then, Splicers are 'mental' ... ("Ryan Ain't Gonna Tell Us What To Do" - Atlas)

Heavy makeup and billowing oversized clothing and HUGE shoes - Perfect for covering up the disfigurements wrought by Fontaine's Poison.   Face paint and Red noses and puff balls (Heck, Sander Cohen was halfway there).

What Plasmid power, Weapons for them ?? :

• Seltzer bottle full of Acid ( or brain eating fungus spores !!! )

• Bucket of Glitter to dowse opponents with ( Watch out its powdered magnesium !! Burns like Hellfire ... )

• Honky Horn of Death - stuns opponents as it plays the infamous South Park 'Brown Note' ...

• Miniature Car (Bathysphere?) full of clownly thugs (A 'Boss' prop)

• Sad Faced Clowns - just covers up their Sociopathic Rage

• Did Fontaine set up a 'Clown College' as one of his 'charities' ( another one of his 'digs' at Ryan ... ) ??

• Boozo the Clown ( not "Bozo" - that's a copyright infringement ) in a Sinclair Spirits advertisement set the pattern for the Clown Faction 'colors'. ( 'Barfo The Clown' was too far behind in fame ... )

• You know that Liberals would decry use of 'the C-Word' ...

• Happy face, ( hiding a long knife or big club ).

There is always something Sinister about Clowns ... ( Even Dr Who thought so )

--- --- ---

The 12th Dementia :

They say there are 11 dimensions to account for modern physics, but craziness goes even further ...

"Stupidity" is the 13th ??  ( That for which "even the Gods stand powerless against" ).

Columbia was a voyage into the 13th Dementia - Tears in Logic and Reality ( Sew it up using the thimble ? - apparently not ).

--- --- ---

The Lid's Off :

Lutwidge threatens to 'rat' on Ryan (and Rapture) and winds up on the floor of his office, dead - a Joe Pesci look-alike paid him a visit and put 3 .22 slugs into his head and stuffed a chess piece into his mouth.

Perhaps the hitman was Booker/Comstock in yet another incarnation/dimension.

Elizabeth to try to get 'justice'/revenge on yet another Comstock poses as Lutwidge and does all the insane claptrap presented in SitS.

See how easy it is to create 'Plots That Make Sense'.

--- --- ---

When You Think About It :

BioShock is really just a soggy story about Vampires and Frankenstein Monsters

--- --- ---

The great secret --- The Little Sisters actually Control Rapture ........

Discuss ...

--- --- ---

Both Rapture and Columbia were simply Walter Mitty on LSD ( Mild Ergot poisoning ).

--- --- ---

"There are Canastas and Variable Mortgages" :

• A Guy
• A Forklift
• A Duck

The new voyages of the Sky Asylum once known as Columbia ...

Going where no multiverse has gone before.

"Farside" had far better 'Story'.

--- --- ---

Columbia Attacks Chicago Stockards - News at 11  :

Columbia's religiosity forced its Citizens to be Vegetarian ( and the 'holy' one is Vegan ... ) - Nah, too divisive for the PC game developers ( despite any/all claims of 'pushing the envelope' ). Attacking Christianity is too passé these days, and hardly warrants notice. On the other hand, they would fear the backlash from being accused of attacking veggies ...

--- --- ---

MMORPG - So Where Are the Dwarves, Elves, Orcs  ?

Comstock and Fink might've had their Oompa-Loompas (Hobbits) slaving away underground, but no such existed in Rapture. ( Ryan, you see, was a Real American ... )

--- --- ---

'Faux' is a Kind Of Stupi Laziness  :

But, But, But "Its Only A Game" .... Yeah and having Gumby and The Giant Garfield God in Call of Duty would still be "Only A Game", but too would be incredibly stupid.

Its Its Its an Allegory !!! ( For the 1912 evil religious American racist whiteman - yeah, right, and Ken Levine is a giant hedgehog named 'Spiney Norman'. )

--- --- ---

BioShock Easter Eggs :

• Bet you didn't know that Delta carved his little triangle symbol along the path he took to get Eleanor.  

• Lutece Twins heads to be found in in Bell Jars in a Rapture research lab somewhere (sub-story : Suchongs Trap).

• Once in a while, you see someone that appears to be dressed like Elvis in the distance going around a corner in the New Rapture City Center.

• Jack Sparrow is hidden in 4 different spots in the City Hall - Can you find them all ?

• One 'Need To Know' machine in the New Rapture Museum plays the Blooper Reel from BioShock 1.

• The Secret Teleport Plasmid room in BS2 has a Tan Suan Cola machine over in one dark corner.

--- --- ---

Crossover Ideas :

• Turn a "Big Sister stealing 7 year old girls" into a Scooby Doo story plot ( Old man Higgins covering up his smuggling operation... The Ghostly Pirate Ship projection... Mummies!!! )

• TacoShock Hot Sauce powered powers : Explosive-Flo, Run-4-The-BorderToilet, Burning-Mouth, Stomach Lurcher, Chihuahua Swarm, Siesta Time ...

• My Little Seaslug Plushie Toys (in the happy meal)

• Sluggy Freelance - but what does it have to do with slugs ? Bun-bun comes to Rapture.

• Max Schmeling is the greeter at Pharoah's Fortune Casino

• Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea episode "Rapture of the Deep" ( eventuall disclosed as a dream sequence ).

--- --- ---

Players Make Things

A toy ? But by the time the Big Daddies were walking the city, it was getting really really strange ( and violent - remember the killer Splicers were murdering Little Sisters to warrant the Protectors even existing ... ) No real reason a toy like this would be created during a 'civil war' ( anarchist/terrorist rebellion ). Perhaps it is some forgotten proposal by McClendon to Ryan for improved Little Sister Security ( Why they didn't just drag corpses BACK to an easily defended "Little Sister Fortress" seems strange to me - but then "THE PLOT CALLED FOR IT" need only be observed. )

--- --- ---

Famous Saying By Augustus Sinclair :

"You really know that Society and Civilization is on its knees when the Toilet Paper Supply gives out ..."

--- --- ---

Fuzzy Logical  ?? ( Pseudo-Aristotelian Logic ) :

Fact : Humans became Splicers and wreaked havoc 

Fact : We see Human corpses everywhere in Rapture

Fact : We see Cat corpses in many places in Rapture

Conclusion : Cats became Splicers also

Strange Audio Diaries are found with meowing on them ...  ( Hmm, Roleplay a Cat in Rapture ... ) Conclusion : LOLCats was invented in Rapture originally.

Nothing says we can't have funny pictures of real cats making strange comments about BioShock and Rapture ...

--- --- ---

Imagination is A Terrible Thing To ... :

[1]

Looking at various radiation/radium based Quack medicine/devices/products around 1900, leveraging alot of that time's (pseudo) scientific exposure to the public.  It would have been a bit more interesting/historic for Infinite BS to have had  Fink-Lutece 'Science' Quack products :

• Phlogistonic Floatopathy Therapy  ( opium being the active ingredient, with a touch of Radium )

• Lutece Effect Healing Belt ( great profitmaking quackery - guaranteed to come with The Prophet's Blessing )

• First Lady Tomb Dust brand cleanser ( "Clean as the First Lady would have wanted it !!" )

• Professor Xavier's Hair Grow Cream - now with more of the rare Tibetan Yak Vomit for that tingly growth feeling (it's actually carbonated).

• Zephod's Gear Cleaner and Polish - favorite of The Columbia Flag Guard and Marching Band

• Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Crows - membership pin - glows with the "Blue Light of Truth"

• I Was A Boer Collaborating Psychic, by Dr. Sofia Lamb

• Aether-Humors Balancing Crystals - excellent for numerous skin conditions including adolescent acne.

• Lutece Tonic and General Restorative - good really for anything that ails you - "It has blue flavor 'particles' in it !!!"

--- --- ---

"Boys of Silence" - Possibly the Ugliest Hood-Ornament of All Time :

"Toto, I don't think we are in Kansas any more..." ( with Quantum Weirdness Dorothy could have been here first ... *INTRUDER* - KILL HER !!! )   Old Elizabeth might've made a good Wicked Witch of the West.

--- --- ---

Pinky ???.... What is this ? "Willow" All Over Again ( Except in Reverse ? ) :

How exactly was it that only the 'Pinky' was cut off when it would be right next to longer fingers ? ( Try holding your hand so that could happen ... )

Having her whole hand get cut off would have been spookier, and an opportunity to put something more interesting than a thimble on it ... A bowling ball, chainsaw, a nasty shaped hook, a black gloved "Dr No" hand. 

The animators probably balked ( as they had done WHEN less anthropomorphic NPCs were proposed for BioShock ).

--- --- ---

Flash Fun :

Many years ago there was a Flash presentation of 'Star Trek on Ice' which got lots of hits on the interwebs.

http://www.mwmw.com/bbradley/SHG/geek/stream.html

I suppose someone could do a similar lame FLASH animation with Big Daddies and Little Sisters (and Cohen)  skating and doing pirouettes at Jack Frost's Icecapades, etc... 

--- --- ---

Alternate Universe Elizabeths :

One with a hook in place of a Hand ...  a missing Foot ...  Pegleg - makes dancing at the Battleship Bay Beach a bit less frolicsome.

A Head in a Belljar ...   ( Kept alive in a creepy B monster movie way. )

Booker (now a dimensional god) with a hook for a hand ( or a Fink Mfg. Robotic hand - more likely a  Robotic Little Sister hand stolen from McClendon Robotics ).

--- --- ---

Booker, Catch !!!  :

And Elizabeth threw the handful of coins at Booker who ( unlike her, had not spent bored years of time repeatedly doing the trick of 'catching a pile of coins' ) in surprised dropped his gun, which as it hit the ground went off, putting a bullet into Elizabeth's head ( which Booker could tell by the look on her face was a surprise ).   So now Booker, calculating and figuring that "bring us the girl" had never actually specified that she be alive, dragged her corpse towards ...

Having a bottle of 'Salts' (or heavy box of ammo) smack Booker in the head when he was too busy shooting at the Guard running at him to look ...      

Booker!!!  Ammunition Crate !!!   .... BONK!!!

--- --- ---

S.I.G.M.A. : Super Intelligent Giant Moldy Anchovy  (not original) :

Sigma wasn't actually Porter - was finally ID'd as a weird genetic mess left in an Alpha suit by a BD who had eaten a bad taco years before.   Some people will believe just about anything they are told.  Tenenbaum] - "Du rememberst zat ting I menshonned aboutz changink du backen zu normaal ? ....  Vell ..."

--- --- ---

D&D Columbia :

A game which 'nerds' in Rapture played about a fantasy flying city with all kinds of magical stuff and weird fantastical beings and world mechanics.

F&F - Firearms and Floatings ( was a rival gaming system )

--- --- ---

Catman - who will Right the Wrongs of Rapture :

'Catman' the Furred Crusader - a rich billionaire who at night wanders the city apprehending criminals and parasites... ( Since the only supposed(?) billionaire in Rapture was Ryan, this was the source of numerous rumors. )

Ryan's comment - "I haven't worn fur since I was in Russia"

--- --- ---

With The LAST Bag of Cheesy Poofs :

And so Civilization in Rapture ended ...

--- --- ---

Some Fan Fiction (NOT !) :

Saw someone's story fleshing out the Johnny Topside story ... With the usual loose assumptions and non-Rapturite take on things, behavior of characters ( of reporters ), etc ... Anyway : The Diver 'Visitor' was rescued from his Bathysphere ( Deep-Sea Suited or Not ), and when they open it up : ITS AN APE !!!! Rapture of the Apes - Things apparently have happened 'up there' that Ryan had kept quiet !!! ... ( Things had obviously 'gone to the dogs' -- Oops, that's a different dream sequence. )

Sounds like a lame(typical) 'Movie of The Week' on Rapture TV.

--- --- ---

Due to Copyright Infringement Issues :

It was not possible to have Elizabeth sing "Soft Kitty" ( from 'The Big Bang Theory' TV Show ) in Infinite BS ( maybe used when she is reviving Booker ).   Learned it all from 'books' apparently.

--- --- ---

Jeremiah Fink : " Authentic Diversity ? In Columbia ? *Derisive Laughter* "

It is INCREDIBLY funny that Levine stated this after having made Infinite BS with NOTHING BUT cliche Stereotypes in it.

--- --- ---

Quote Of The Day  :

"Because let’s face it, who doesn’t want to see reptilian Adolf Hitler with his pet T-Rex Blondi attempt to take over the world, Dieselpunk style ?"

--- --- ---

If Other Games can have The Giant Sword, then WE can have The Giant Wrench ...

--- --- ---

Scene : Jack on the Airliner suddenly jump up and say aloud to himself "I'VE GOT TO GO POOPY !!!" to the alarm of people around him in the plane. The subsequent embarrassing scenes when he goes confused into the plane lavatory, for which he never really was 'conditioned' into knowing what to do with ... 4 year old Jack would have MANY such strange gaps in his knowledge of the Real World.

--- --- ---

Joke About the 'Urinal' Being Banned in Rapture ( We didn't see a single one )  :

"I Will Have Only One Toilet Appliance" - drunk Ryan

Hmmm, must've been too offensive, but then you did murder little girls in that game ... strange priorities that Ken & Co had ...

--- --- ---

As a Tribute to the Canon Breakage in the Burial At Sea DLC  :

We see one of Sander Cohen's "Plasterpieces" which is obviously Elizabeth, who like Cohen's other 'disciples' was disposable, and in HIS Mind, being Best employed as PART of his 'Art'.

DONT CRITICIVE - Or YOU will Wind Up one of Cohen's 'Plasterpieces'.

Perhaps a Songbird 'fished out of the drink' might be seen in a scrap pile, or being cooked by Splicers for dinner.

--- --- ---

What IF

What IF Comstock had bought/taken a Baby Sander Cohen by mistake ??

The Luteces ( who are bored, being dead ) pulling a good joke on 'The Prophet'.

Does the whole 'dimension god' thing still work if its a Big Toe ???? ( Or some soiled diapers left behind ???? )

--- --- ---

Columbia - Questions ( Which People Want To Know The Answers To )  :

Did Pre-Looney Columbia visit the 1896 Olympics (in Athens Greece) ? ( The first modern Olympics )

Photo-Bomb the 1900 Exposition in Paris ?? ( Maybe Elizabeth possessed some memorabilia left over from that event that put her on that 'Paris' kick ... )

Would Trans-orbital Lobotomy be an event in the Columbian Olympics ? ( Or be standard 'passification' method of troublesome Untermenschen ??? )

--- --- ---

Comstock's "Hang Yourself Like Judas" Vending Machine  :

New from Fink Mfg :

"Have You Betrayed The Profit ? Here, use this provided Halter to hang yourself in Honest Miserable Regret upon this handy provided Tree. Don't wait Sinner. Cheap at 200 Eagles, 20% off for Children !!! "

--- --- ---

Infinite BS's Plot Has the Logic of a Three Stooges Short :

We've got a plan !! ... Crazy things happen ... Things get strange ... BONK !!! Cutoff ending with a sudden punchline ("I am your Father Elizabeth" ... blub blub blub).

Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk ...

--- --- ---

The LOLCats Visit Rapture :

"Take us to your Tuna !!!"

--- --- ---

"Constants" :

"There's always a Football, a Chimp and a Burrito !! "

Statement by one of the (infinite) Infinite Luteces ( More than a few are dressed as Clowns ) ...

--- --- ---

Humourous Episodes ...  :

After being Lobotomized, Elizabeth acts alot like 'Curly' of the Three Stooges :

"Nghang - Nghang - Nghang ... Hey Booker why are they firing at us ??? Don't they know that's dangerous ?? Whoooh Whoooh Whoooooh !!!! "

"Hey Booker, are we going to Paris now ? I saw'd Paris once, but its like they all speak a different language there !!!"

"Booker, Tell me again about the Rabbits ..."

" Why Soy tan lee !!!! "

"Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk ..." (as the Splicer Burns ...)

Etc ...

--- --- ---

Constants ( That BS Trying to Link Infinite to Rapture ... )  :

There's always a Lampshade

There's always a Lobster

There's always a Lobotomy <<<<<<<<<

There's always a Lodestone

There's always a Labelmaker

There's always a Ladle of Green Goop

There's always a Liar

And a Marabou Stork

And a Manichean Heresy

And a Marble

And a Musket

And A Musician

And a Mook

AND

A Cyclotron

A Cat Alien

A Chocolate Cookie

A Crapsack

A Cenobite

A Cannon

etc ...

Unfortunately the VERY NATURE of Quantum Physics IS that there *ARE NO CONSTANTS*

( I really wonder whom this quantum 'expert' ( They say they consulted with) really was where they somehow got the idea that there are "ALWAYS CONSTANTS" - which is *FUNDAMENTALLY* excluded according to REAL Quantum Physics ). (( THAT'S A "TAKE IT WITH A BUCKET OF SALT" moment then for ANY OTHER claims Kenny-boy & Team make when they get something so wrong. ))

--- --- ---

Grooming Tips For Splicers :

• How to care for "The Tooth"

• Discolorations - how to set yourself apart

• Running Sores, those annoying bastards ...

• The Right clothing can hide ever so much.

• Twitches- they just mean you are like everyone else.

• Toupees are much easier to care for ...

• Mask Chafing, that one thing we all know about.

• Things makeup just don't cover.

• Limping can be done with Real Style.

--- --- ---

The Prophet's Own Churros (Now with More Cocaine !!)  :

Several stands seen in Battleship Bay, and one in the 'Raffle & Fair' area ( Booker picks up a Churro, and puts out the eye of one of the Police Officers with it before eviscerating him ).

All those drugs that weren't illegal yet, and perhaps made it possible to 'forget' that Columbia was a Police State that East Germany would have envied. ( The Prophet's Radium Eyedrops, and Fink's Feelright Laudanum, etc ... )

"The False Churro"

--- --- ---

"Grand Theft Rapture" -- Just an Idea

A Side game resusing the Primary Games Assets. Some Players need to get their Rampaging Violence 'Fix' in their gaming.

--- --- ---

Scene of the Big Daddy Doing the Scene from Young Frankenstein (Putting on the Ritz ...) :

Yes, easily done with the MMORPGs Stage Direction Tool/mechanism, and various other Tools the MMORPG would provide to its infinitely creative Players.

Perhaps this was seen on Sinclair TV ? ( The low cost TV Station equipment made anybody who had the CASH an instant TV show provider. At least Sinclair's Commercials were amusing and imaginative. )

Rapture was actually 'Wired For Cable' from the start ( so you didn't need the huge expensive transmitters they required up on the Surface ).

--- --- ---

A Comentary Video (Funny --- About lame handholding of Player for 'Puzzles'):

http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=bioshock+infinite+puzzles&&view=detail&mid=BA9AB5AFFD9C63E72E4ABA9AB5AFFD9C63E72E4A&FORM=VRDGAR

--- --- ---

Heil Barney !!!  :

We Gots (GOTZ) to have at least one Infinite BS REDO with Nazis in control. Story might go : some SS Unit stormed through an unfortunate 'Tear', and soon ran the place, and then sets off to find their young Fuhrer. Now you can have it reflect real racism and cruelty instead of basing it on Levine's pseudo-history. Of course, the swastikas and such mean you cannot sell the game in Germany, so a modified version with a purple dinosaur motif would be substituted for that.

-

Great Idea - So yet another Player Creation Asset Contest : *THINGS SEEN THROUGH TEARS*

This could get weird, BUT IN THIS CASE THAT is what we would desire and rely on.

--- --- ---

Balloon Animal Version of Infinite BS Columbia :

LEGO trademark branding Will Be A Problem - Hmmmm, THEY want 'too big' a cut of the profit pie. So you create your own similar system for it ( Yep, the MMORPG system can handle that too ... ).

And Zeppelins made of Balloons - Now that's imaginative ...

--- --- ---

Sofia Lamb Reading Her Poetry :

Unspeakable punishment that made her victims tear their own heads off or force iron nails into their own ears.

Not Original  ?? If you wanted 'original', then why are you looking at a Website about "BioShock" ?

Lamb was likely incensed when she learned her 'poetry book' (Metamorphosis II), which had been previously handed out amongst her followers, was most frequently employed as a convenient source of toilet paper.

A Lamb-ism : "'Where the Sun Don't Shine', That's where you will find the fine words of Sofia Lamb most comforting."

--- --- ---

Quantum Strangeness :

Wasn’t it Einstein who said : "The very definition of insanity was filling a balloon with kittens and then chopping off your own legs" ?

No ? Are you sure you are in the right multiverse here, pilgrim ?

--- --- ---

Fiction in Fiction :

"Wonder of the Worlds", an adventure novel where Nikola Tesla, Mark Twain and (The Great) Houdini pursue Martian agents who have stolen a powerful crystal from Tesla at the Columbia Exposition.

Lets have these gentlemen set out to destroy Comstock after a spirit (Houdini's mother's) tells him what an evil destructive man he is, and how many people he will enslave and murder. Mark Twain's quaint humor can be quite cutting, and Houdini is full of surprises, and Tesla uses his great technical knowledge, with the others, to fix "Comstocks Little Red Wagon".

Stories within stories was what BioShock was all about, NO ? (( Even better if its neat 'splashy' interactive fiction ( I smell another Player Created Asset and Contes !!! ) . ))

IF we are going to link Infinite BS to BioShock Rapture, then at least lets do it in a plausible (Sci-Fi) way, no?

-

Did Comstock send Columbia to destroy Paris to dissuade the distracted/obsessed Elizabeth from still wanting to go there ?? Oh look, the Eiffel Tower collapsing !!! ( Been there, done that in "Call of Duty" ... )

--- --- ---

"Bring Us The Girl"  :

'Unharmed" ? This mission didn't quite specify it should not be in a sack or bucket -- easy for Booker the thug to simply shoot Elizabeth (or whack her over the head) or push her off the side of Columbia and "pick up the pieces"/scrape her off the ground, later. The Luteces though might have known she would 'come back to life' ( the way Booker did when he died over and over ), AND it would have saved him alot of trouble -- IF they even cared, or weren't just amusing themselves in all this ( It IS quite boring being immortal ).

--- --- ---

"Good Story Will Always Trump Good Science" ?? ( Maybe, When You Actually Have 'Good' Story. )  :

Unfortunately Infinite BS really did not have much story beyond :

• Luke (Lucretia) I am You Father ( ... and I'm Your Alternate Father )

• Lets go back in time and change the past so badness wont happen ( We can get the gang together to do it in the old barn, and my uncle can supply the costumes ... )

• "I was locked in a Tower since birth, but I had books, and now I'm a god !!!" (very convenient)

• Lets shoot racist bad-F*&^%$s who have no faces, to feel better about ourselves, and make believe we aren't committing mass murder.

• Revolutionaries get to wear neat Red Shit, and them then being evil murderers doesn't really matter. ( BTW guerrilla fighters wearing red make fine nicely visible targets ).

• Pretty floating places run by religious people are evil.

• "Elizabeth, I'm your father and your grandfather (Chinatown-esque reference) ... Are you going to kill me ???"

• Luteces : "Booker - WE are you Father and Mother ( !! Holy Inbred Recessive Gene Catastrophe, BATMAN  !!! ) Please don't tell Elizabeth WE really caused all this evil."

--- --- ---

"Interfeces"  :

Another typo inspires New Term/Concept - Bodily function related Interfaces

--- --- ---

--- --- ---

EVE Comes In Grape Flavor Too ...

If you can have Absinthe flavored Toothpaste ( Sander Cohen started that fad ) back before Rapture 'Went to hell' ...

--- --- ---

I *Heart* Ryan :

Seen somewhere in some Odd corner of Rapture -- or on some T-shirts of some very odd Splicer Faction -- It may actually be about eating his heart, or something equally strange.

"Flip and Flap" The Uncertainty Twins ('Flop' was Copyrighted)

pix]] ??

Clowns in place of the Luteces (Infinite BS REDO)

Do even MORE stupid and crazy things.

Talk with Bad-Italian accents like Chico Marx ("Why" - Why not ? 'Authentic Diversity' of course - "Atsa Matta Wid YOU !!!!" Cliche Italian is acceptable Racism, aint it ?) ... "Atsa Some-a Gud Quantum-a Meat-a-balls, You Betcha !!!"

--- --- ---

Mel Brooksian Version of Columbia

Fart Jokes

Cliche everything including racism

Funny Deaths

4th Wall

Bing & Bob's "Road To Columbia"

--- --- ---

Acehole Humor :

Suchong : "Subject 'Ace' muscle coordination and reflex good. Talk like 4 year old now, and is past childhood 'No' phase. Mental age unlikely to see improvement. Suchong recommend he not talk on Mission, or cause beeg problem. Candy still seem like best motivator."

--- --- ---

Substitute Booker with Harpo Marx in BaSx --> SAME RESULT !!!

--- --- ---

If Ryan had done those lynchings then it would have been with a "Windsor Knot"

People still wore ties back in th e40s/50s - crevaute

---

First Rule - "Don't EVER ask whats in the Sausages" (particularly if they are Finks)

---

Infinite Humor FOR RAPTURE !!!! :

What if Sander Cohen had been obsessed with Sea Slugs instead of bunnies ?

"I want to take the tail off, but I can't! I Squirm ... and I Squirm ... But ..."

---

One and a Half Score Ago ... :

Damn, we could have had a mechanized scene of heroic John Wilkes Booth wrestling with Lincoln, and finally killing him with a Roman Gladius sword ... "Sic Semper Tyrannis, Muthaf*cker !!!" ... "Die Tyrant Die" ( And YOU get to PLAY the part of John Wilkes Booth .... Hmmmm ).

Comstock allegedly alters history to serve his purposes (so it says in the game), but in a 'quantum multiverse' it should always BE more like a Real Cohesive History (with mass slaughter) instead of a lame-arsed STUPID story-stitching one ( Or you just have stupid scenes like 'Evil' Jack firing the US Missile-Sub's IRBM just as a Tear opens and it hits Columbia ).

---

Humorous Mini-Games 4U :

• Angry Big Daddies ...

• Splicer Crush ...

• Call of Comstock

• SimPolice State

---

Unsinkable, My Ass !!! :

So Columbia TOWED an Iceberg into Titanic's Path to rob and sink it ??

Simpler to ( maybe lift it into the sky ) attack and rob it and sink it, wouldn't you think ?

---

"Paging Dr Howard, Dr Fine, Dr Howard ..." should be heard in Medical Center in the MMORPG.

--- --- ---

The Horror - The Sadistic Bastard !!!  :

Fink makes his Workers (Cattle) listen to his Banjo Playing ( He KNOWS he's not too good, but doesn't care - He's always had the ambition to write a Banjo Symphony ). Once he did Dueling Banjos with Comstock ...

--- --- ---

Missed Opportunity (Cliche-topia) :

" But You Don't Know JACKs Shirt !!!" ... said by Fontaine when his 4-yearold Pawn is being 'assisted' to dress for his trip to The Surface.

( And a STILL alive Dr Suchong saying to himself : "But I do Mister Gangster ... I do. " )

"I know Jack, and You ain't No Jack!!!" ( The unlucky 'Johnny' getting sent to get YOU out of the Bathysphere at Welcome Center ).

"I'm a Doctor, Not a Bootlegging Gangster" - Steinman (??)

"No Mr Bundy, You are going to die !!!" - Al Bundy somehow got to Rapture and is caught by a Blofend like Splicer Boss.

--- --- ---

Not So Cute :

If you saw that scene where the Little Sister says to the Big Daddy :

"This Angel is jerking around too much, and wont stay still Mr Bubbles, do something about it !!"

"Bad Angel Juice, Tummy Hurts!!! Help Me Mr B ... UGH UGH BRRRAPPPPPP !!! ... "

"IM THE BOSS HERE !!! I DONT WANNA GO SLEEPY BYE !!"

"THE VENTS SMELL LIKE POOPIES - CLEAN IT MR BUBBLES OR IM NOT COMIN BACK.

--- --- ---

Rapture Pez Dispensers :

Sander Cohen

Ryan

Fontaine

The Best and Brightest DELUXE Pack

The Great Chain

( Columbian Tear Version - Washington/Jefferson/Franklin/Comstock )

Sofia Lamb cyanide pill dispenser

--- --- ---

A real bathysphere ( or is it someones backyard 'smoker' ?? )

Maybe it was the 'Box' that the Cats put Shrodinger in while doing THEIR 'experiment'.

--- --- ---

Should also be "Amusing Bloom Filter"

Weird balloon things and the game designers jiggedy Skyline travesty.

Those "Barges" seem to be collision calamity just waiting to happen.

Flames scorching buildings and humans who are nearby - a fire hazard if I ever saw one ...

-

Is that one Balloono thing with a "Freight Hook" on it ??? Don't the designers KNOW what happens when you add weight ( like a jumpy human to such a thing ( Hint : it plummets ground-ward as it loses its Buoyancy with the extra weight ).

--- --- ---

What stupidness in the Infinite BS gamewriters attempts to link this game to the REAL BioShock ...

--- --- ---

In Rapture, If you wanted to haul your large cat around in a wheel barrow, you could

But if it ate the neighbors Poodle, then that was NOT OK - Objectivism allows Freedom, but that Freedom ends where it effects the Rights of others (Ryan's Objectivist Philosophy was NOT Anarchy and Lawlessness - Something which the game writers may have misunderstood.)

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End of : *** Humor ***

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Spoiler Warning ! This WIKI contains plot details about the BioShock games.

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Fantasy ? ? ? I Andrew Ryan Reject This !!!

Is not the Player due a proper Sci-Fi game paid for by the $60 Sweat of their Brow ??? The Game Companies say " NOOOOOOOOO ! The players will eat whatever rubbish we set before them !! "

"SO I left the Parasites and created "BioShock: Rapture Reborn" , a MMORPG place where the Player will FEEL they are in a real 'World Under the Sea', and the Players IMAGINATION will Pull The Great Chain !!! ..... "

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WARNING - This Website is *** NOT SAFE FOR WORK ***

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BEWARE "NSFF" - 'NOT SAFE FOR FANBOIS'

*** Warning - Fanboi Head Explosion Zone ***

Contrary Opinions are Being Offered HERE !!!!

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Because I WANT computer games to be better than what we typically get from the Game Industry, and perhaps by pointing out ClapTrap like BioShock Infinite, strong criticisms being voiced might serve to SHAME the makers of such substandard games, and MIGHT cause them to DO BETTER in Future.

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I wont hold my breath that this will happen though.

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Note - This Wiki is for people who have the ability to NOT lose attention for content posted in MORE than 144 Characters of TEXT

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Money makes Rapture go round...

Drink *CalciO* And Achieve Greatness !!!

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WARNING - YES, This whole Wiki is a 'Thought Experiment', and YOU are the Test Subjects !!!!!

( So are YOU Alive or Dead as per this whole Concept ??? )

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*WARNING* - This MMORPG contains blood and gore, intense violence, mild sexual themes, strong language and use of alcohol and tobacco.

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*WARNING* - Fanbois May Find The Content of This Wiki Confusing and Distressingly Contradictory to Their Narrow Miniscule Mindsets. Some Head Explosions May Result

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*** Fanboi Spoilage Alert ***  :

The contents of this Wiki may Collapse the Fanboi's vision of the BioShock games from being "The most greatest awesomeness thing evah !!", into just one of the many average games ... ( Your reason for existing may decline severely and/or your entire viewpoint of the universe may be utterly crushed. )

You have been warned.

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MANY Images on the Rapture Reborn Wiki are taken from the BioShock video game series or from websites created and owned by 2K Games, the Copyright of which is held by Take-Two Interactive Software, Inc. All Trademarks and Registered Trademarks present in those images are proprietary to Take-Two Interactive and its subsidiaries. The use of such Images to illustrate articles concerning the subject of the images in question is believed to qualify as fair use under United States Copyright Law, as such display does not significantly impede the right of the copyright holder to sell the Copyrighted material and is not being used to generate profit in this context.

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Final Disclaimer : I am aware that various Fanbois think any kind of negative or different comments about BioShock makes me a "Poo Poo Head" ( in their minds ), and they feel fully justified in their 'Being So Offended' by my contrary ideas, and for their fervent wish to Silence anyone talking/thinking expressing such things ...

But I don't give a Rodents Rectum about such small-mindedness and slavish infantile infatuation with a game ( or its writers ), Nor for those who merely complain-whine out of their own Attention Whoring mental issues.

"GLORY TO THOSE WHO THINK FOR THEMSELVES" - Democritus

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